We have all heard the one about the CD-ROM tray being thought of as a Coffee cup holder.

How about, the Lady who sent a copy of a disk to have a defect analysing. She sent a Photocopy of the disk.

The man whom fastens Mother Boards directly to the computer case (and neglects to fit the plastic or brass spacers) and he wonders why the cards will not seem to reach and fit into their slots.

The endless stream of people, who confuse their memory mega bytes with their hard drive space mega bytes.

The Lady, waving the mouse about in the air wondering why it will not move on screen.

The customer who rang, they could not send an email after talking them through the entire set-up and fixing the problem. The email still would not send. Well you really need to put the phone down now and reconnect to the Internet again, at this point, she was told.

The countless folk who complain there cd reader will not write a cd no matter how hard nor what they seem to try!

The countless folk who throw away their original software after installing it to their hard drive!

The Lady assuming the mouse was a foot pedal control switch.

The Lady whom was holding the A4 letter in front of the monitor assuming it would get sent as a fax in this way!

The Gent whom got the message on screen "Can not find Printer Port" so he turned the monitor to face the printer assuming it would then be able to see the printer in front of it!

The Gent who thought his monitor was defective, because his Microsoft Word Package had all Green and Red squiggly lines underneath the words.

The Gent who went back to the computer shop and complained he could not get the new cd-rom to work at all. Upon testing the cd-rom and showing it working, he replied wait a minute, I don't have that part (pointing to the PC's base unit) he had assumed it would work with only monitor keyboard cd-rom and nothing else.

The Gent complaining over the telephone that the first floppy disk had installed without any error. But that disk 2 was now extremely hard to also get into the floppy drive. Further that there was no way disks 3 4 5 6 7 and 8 were also going to fit into there. It was then explained to him, You need to replace each disk, before trying to insert another!

The Gent talking to support, who was told to re-install his original disks again. He replied "after installing them, first time about. I threw them out, I did'nt think I would need them again"

The Numerous people who complain that the installed Microsoft Internet does not seem to connect or work on their computer. They do not even have a modem installed on the system. Assuming the MSN Internet icon means they already have the Internet Installed and require nothing more.

The numerous people who complained that they could not see how the video card they bought would not work or connect with/to their video recorders.

This is serious, the numerous people whom assumed that cyber sex was an act where one of the partners wwere actually standing sitting or lying across or on the computer.

The numerous people who have tried to install new memory or CPU by attempting to feed it into the floppy drive or cd-rom.

The numerous people whom attach the speakers power supply into the sound card instead of the actual speakers.

The numerous people whom genuinely assume that a wav file is a photograph of them waving and then sent via email.

The uncountable folk whom neglect to realize the computer needs switched on both at the wall socket and at the power switch on the base unit.

The uncountable folk whom neglect to realize that many monitors also have a main power switch on the rear of the monitor.

The uncountable folk whom mix up their ps2 keyboard and ps2 mice connections. To then complain the keyboard has stopped working.

Believe this or not, the few folk whom actually report to their doctor and do believe they can catch a computer virus from their computer.

The uncountable people who install a modem yet never think to plug in the telephone wall socket.

The lazy people who hate the internet as it is to hard for them to use. Simply because they cannot use their Joystick on there and occasionaly need to do a little typing.

The uncountable people who claim, "I didn't do a thing everything just all disappeared itself right off the hard drive"

The few people who assume their computer is calling them useless and disabled or an invalid. Simply because they get the error message "Invalid switch"

Talking to a young lady live with voice online (via the internet - uk to usa) explaining how to clean the rollers on her sticky mouse. The Lady disappeared off the screen to re-appear again minutes later. I could not talk with laughing when she explained that turning the mouse over in the palm of her hand, had disconnected her from the Internet.

The uncountable people who play with their monitor buttons and mis-align it. Then complain the monitor is broke as they only have half a screen on display."

Do you still think you're ignorant After Reading This?